|~i promise~|

Saturday, October 31, 2009

I am so tired of drama.
Tired of people trying to make as if they understand me.
I am just like a story book, open with the pages writing about my life,
neither do I hide and act like somebody else,
why does so many people fails to understand me?

I am just simply me.
Simply Complicated.

And no I don't act, fake as if I am like you.
Jealous?

Random insert: { Saddness exisit if you want to be happy. You can never be happy if you are not sad at times}

{In a game of love , there is no winner or losers. There is only real and fake players}

{Being inpractical- is being practical}

{ True is what has not been proven fake}

{There is only hope when there is hopeless situation}

{Light is best only in dark}

{What you see, might not be what you think}

{Movies only have happy endings, because the auidence want them to}
Most people will wonder what I do at times,
I watch dramas, write stories, listen to songs etc.
But most of my time, know what I do?

I am thinking? Not about the future or past.
I am thinking about everything else in this world.

Why why why, am I here?
Is there a reason to exist?
Is life really that exhausting to live?

Oh well, I am not a really emo person,
I just well... think about emo things?
Well...hey! At least I got a life,
my life is not the usual - always about shopping,studies,fashion,popular,wealth...
I live in my ideas.
I decide in my life what is right or wrong.

Cause I have the eyes to see what should be mine, right, vaules.
I don't easily get influenced by advertisment, what people say without the envidence,
or by just popular craze.
But neither am I against those. I won't go like "hey, i don't wanna do this cause its popular now!" -_-

I have mind to decide what is correct or wrong.
I have choices that I make.
Not by pressure. ( though...sometimes yea...)

I don't live in my own cage ( well, maybe I do )
At least, I won't do what I really hate
or don't want to do.
I make choices.
I prefered to live in my cage,
ya, because so then I don't have to
act like somebody else that you all like.

I am not pretty, nice, sweet cute little girl at all.
Because I know, I am not perfect.
But at least whatever I do,
I know I can look upon myself as a human,
not an actor.

I never tried to hurt others,
I hate dramas,
I tried to help whenever I can
though to only those good-will people
I don't wish to save a bad person,
only to regret later. Noob ya?

I watch tv when I like,
I don't go like OH NO, I need to revise my chinese today because my exam is next month?
I don't go like I WANT TO run 10run and stop eatting for 2 days because I wanna be thin..
Whatever...

I know I am fat, but I won't torture myself just to look good.
I wear makeup because I know I won't look good even with makeup,
and so I better wear it to make sure my face is not-too-bad.
Though i usually just put on powder...-_-

We never know when will life end, why make things hard for yourself and everyone around you?
I remeber one of my friend was dieting so bad, because her mum forced her to.

No, I won't be that stupid to listen to such suggestion.
Deh, what kind of mother is that? To force her daughter to eat only 2 slice of bread per day, and doing exercise at night.

When I told my mum about it, my mum warn me never to do that.
And I know why, its because, she will be heart-aching if I torture myself like that...
Oh well, at least I thought most mother will do that...

Oh and by the way, I am looking for a religion.
Because I need to like "plan" for future huh?
Can't believe some of my friends who plan alot doesn't plan a coffin yet?

Anyway, religion is impt too. Gives you a moral guide.
And also make sure, that you don't live like...in the matrix?
For those who don't understand. I meant, who want to live like a dream,
without knowing why and what happen is a reason,
or to be just a like a cow or fish,
just live to work to earn money to buy food to eat to sleep when tired
work-eat-sleep
Ok, maybe some lucky ones will get happiness that last for a couple of years.

Then phw, disappear into thin air.

Bye bye.

But not me
I wanna know the reason why
I live, you live and the world live
In happyiness,in sadness in horror.

If your religion explains these.
Please tell me
so I won't be troubled.

So I can finally be happy.

[ made a promise]
~6:32 AM